Good morning friends, esteemed colleagues, acquaintances, and Adam. We apologize that we could not make to accept our major award in person. First off, we would like to thank God because without him, nothing is possible.

We have many other people to thank so we might as well get started. First off, we would like to thank Roll The Bones for allowing us the opportunity to acquire such a great cornerstone of our team before the season started, B.J. Upton. Although BJ did steal lots of bases, he also contributed to our sub-par power output and his wealth of strikeouts did allow us to secure a spot at the bottom of the batting average category. We would also like to thank our team Ro-Sham-Bos (insert any player from our roster here).

Special thanks go out to Matt Wheelahan, aka Jenk-a-lank. Matt allowed us to be in the right frame of mind by serving Alton and I shots until 3am the night before last year’s draft. This allowed us to pay top dollar for sub-par talent.

Hopefully Billy is wearing his Chase Utley jersey and Neil has already cracked open his Chimay. I’m sure someone has already broken the ice with a Fozzy Bear joke (if not now is the time) or Tate has made a phone call inquiring about a trade. Does it get any better than this? I sure hope so.

We gladly accept this plunger as a sign of a great season.

Duh! Winning!!

A Qualtity Product - Alton and José

One final thought - Neil, please feel free to use this as a template for your acceptance speech next year.